Walkin' Away

I love him.... He loves me not..
I love him.... He hurt me lots..
I left him..... He WILL miss me much....!!

Finally found the answer...

Tuhan selalu punya jalanNya sendiri dalam memberikan jawaban atas pertanyaan2 UmatNya...
Dengan segala keribetan dan kekacauan yg terjadi dlm hidup gw belakangan ini... Finally found the answer for all the questions that runs in my head... It confused me at 1st.. Tp sekarang gw ngerasa legaaa bangett... :D
there's no doubt in my heart that He's The one... Mungkin kenyataannya sekarang memang beda.. but i'm sure.. Time will answer.... All i have to do is wait and let the water flows...

Semua yang terjadi udah ngebuat gw dan dia sama2 'melek'... At least.. it can make him realize that i am exist and admit that he feel 'it' too... Dan semua kejadian yg ada ngebuat gw jg menyadari segalanya... Selama ini yg gw tau cuma ngeluhh... Kenapa dia...?? Dia nyebelin.. Kejam.. Ga pedulian.. Ga sensi.. Ga jelashh... 'Ga' Bangeett, etc..
dan selama ini jg gw sering bertanya2.. Kenapa harus dia... Kenapa harus mahluk ajaib itu... dan dengan segala hujatan gw buat dia, kenapa gw ga bisa melepaskan diri dari dia.. Walopun gw dah jerit2 minta di 'release'.. (I really asked him.. Several times..!! at loud...!! to release me..heheeee)
but then.. in one single pray... on ramadhan's day... Everything revealed...

I love him...
I love him with no condition and term (hehehe)
I love him for who he is... Dengan segala keanehan2nya... (yg awalnya selalu buat gw kesel.. tp ketika gw inget2 lagi..selalu berhasil bikin gw senyum n ketawa.....)
I love the comfort feelings when i'm with him.. And Gw suka dgn apa yang udah ada sekarang antara gw ma dia...
Dia ga pernah buat jantung gw deg2an...
Dia ga pernah buat gw 'blush'.. Dia ga pernah buat gw ngerasa 'flattered' dengan kata2nya... Dia jg ga pernah buat gw berpikir 'what if..?'
But all i know.. I love the beautifull feelings i have inside when i think about what we had...

God.. I do believe everything happens for a reason.. Mungkin apa yang ada sekarang, inilah yg harus gw jalani... But i'm quite sure.. that day will come... maybe tomorrow, maybe 10 years from now.. Or maybe in heaven... but still... There will be a time.. when i can call him MINE..!!

Finding Beauty

Trying to find beauty
In 'a-not-so-beautiful' place
Trying to find beauty
In a 'not-so-beautiful' space

Trying to find beauty
In a 'not-so-beautiful' act
Trying to find beauty
In a 'not-so-beautiful' fact

Trying to find beauty
In a 'not-so-beautiful' sight
Trying to find beauty
In a 'not-so-beautiful' night

Trying to find beauty
In a 'not-so-beautiful' plea
Trying to find beauty
In a 'not-so-beautiful' me

Cheers

I've been confused... about a lot of things...
people.. life.. but mostly about me.
Who am I? And who have I become?
Am I ready to face everything that's about to come?? I sure hope so!
And I guess i finally see... that the girl I found inside me, is the girl I want to be...!
And.. I'm happy again...!!! So let's go, and let's run! Let's push all the boundaries, and have tons of fun!

I dared to be different, and won't stop till I'm done!
Will I win the race? I think I already won...!!!

Cheers... :)

My Spiritual Journey...

Shadow of a Sinner

Alhamdulillah... Akhirnya gw dikasih kesempatan buat berkunjung ke rumahNya... It was like a dream come true... Setiap abis sholat, gw cuma bisa ngeliat gambar Ka'bah di sajadah sambil bertanya-tanya, kapaann gw sholat langsung di sana, akhirnya kesampean juga..

Lulus kuliah dengan nilai yang cukup memuaskan, sepertinya buat bokap bangga juga.. Waktu beliau nanya "mau hadiah apa..?" spontan gw jawab... "aku kepengen umrah"
And finally.. April 2008, bokap memenuhi janjinya...
Makasih ya Allah, yang sudah memberikan jalan dan kesempatan untuk bisa menjadi tamu di rumahMu..

Baitullah

View from Top - Jeddah

Red Sea